1L Grades

You know that feeling on Christmas morning, after all the presents have been opened? There's wrapping paper everywhere, you've eaten a huge breakfast, and now you just feel... disappointed? I've been told that is the definition of anticlimactic, but that's debatable. Not everyone has the same Christmas, or celebrates Christmas at all, but I'm sure you get the idea.

That is how grades felt for me. I told myself I was going to get B's, (by B's I mean just somewhere between a B- and a B+.) It's a statistical probability, given that most people do, and very few get A's and C's. So that's what I told myself. Why stress about it if you already know what you're going to get?

When I got sick over Finals, that probability seemed to go out the window. I was so high on NyQuil I couldn't even REMEMBER my Contracts final. Something about an airplane? I dunno. I left feeling miserable and uncertain. Never in my life had I felt so blindsided by an exam. Normally you know what to expect when you show up to an exam. I had to skip the first page and come back. I changed my answers several times on the multiple choice. These things I remember, (and have subsequently stressed out over) but the actual exam is lost forever. Being so uncertain (and not remembering the exam) had me kind of nervous. The thought of getting a C felt horrible.

So anyway, I told myself I was going to get B's. And that's what I got. I did much better in legal research, but of course that doesn't count toward your average. OYE. I'm told that employers often ask what grade you got in that class, so at least I have a good answer.

Getting what you expect, with no surprises, is the anticlimactic part. I did fine. Good, even. Not great. I'm disappointed only because I expected the grade fairy to come along and change the past or something. I'm happy, but I feel sort of blah about it.

Luckily, I've already got an internship lined up for the summer so grades at this point are inconsequential. I want to do Moot Court, not Law Review. And in any case I can write my way onto Law Review (I'm told that looks better than grading on anyway) if I want, so again grades aren't that big of a deal.

My point is, all that worrying or stressing does you no good. You can't change your grades, but they can't change you either. Let it go, focus on the new semester. These grades do not define you. The reality is, you will graduate, you will pass the bar and you'll be a lawyer. That is the point of law school, isn't it? So just focus on actually learning the black letter law and regardless of what grades you get, you will be a lawyer when you are done.

The End of Everything?

Is tomorrow the end of everything? The beginning? The first day of the rest of my life? Despite comfort given and statements to the contrary, there is a general feeling that the release of your first 1L grades will change your life forever. Everything is riding on this. Your career, your sanity, your future as a lawyer, your future as a law student. It's such a big deal they have shrinks in place for dealing with breakdowns. School officials are trying their best to soothe everyone, while simultaneously telling us we have to wait until AFTER class on Friday to get our grades. So here is my personal theory on 1L grades.

The reality is that these grades will potentially affect the job you get for this summer, which in turn potentially affects your future jobs. Five years from now? It's probably not going to matter at all. Most people aren't going to get into Big Law, which means being top of your class might look pretty on a resume but it's unlikely anyone's going to ask. At some point in your career it will probably look pretentious to talk about it.

Here is my real concern: things are going to change. All year the faculty have commented on how great our class is. We all get along. We laugh, even during exam week. We're not overly cliquey, and we seem willing to help each other out. We're not overly competitive, either, at least not out loud. Professors keep commenting that everything will change once our first grades come out. New cliques will form. Old ones will break up. Friendships will be strained. The idea of this makes me miserable, because it's been such a great environment so far. It's hard to imagine it changing. There isn't anyone I don't like and as far as I know (even though I can be a tad annoying to some people, I'm sure) there isn't anyone who dislikes me.

Will tomorrow be the end of it all?

It's a Sickness

Law students have a few things in common, almost universally. First, ego. Second, obsessive tendencies. Add those two together with exams and grades, and you're in for quite a ride. The thing about our egos is that while they might appear big, they are easily shaken and we're often extremely self-deprecating. Self-preservation requires we puff up our chests and talk a big game, but when no one is looking we collapse into panic, worry, and pastry.

I sent out a flood of resumes and managed to secure a tentative offer. It looks good and it's with a well-known defense attorney in the area. I am very excited to meet with him and discuss my potential role. A sane person would feel a sense of relief at this, given that our grades are so important to securing a summer job. I don't need to stress about my grades, because I already have something lined up. Yet I cannot stop checking to see if they've posted.

Here is where the obsessive tendencies come in. I KNOW the grades will not post until Friday. I know that they weren't even due until today. I saw THREE of my five professors go into the office to turn in their grades and even spoke to one of them in the lobby for some time, confirming that he had in fact been doing that very thing. I KNOW the deans are going to get together to review the grades, verify they meet requirements and seem consistent and fair, and that this process will take some time. Hence the Friday posting date.

But I still keep checking.

Arlene was positively panicking today when we returned after Christmas break. She was convinced she had failed her torts exam and would not shut up about it. I of course, do not blame her at all and tried my best to calm her down. She can't help it, she's one of us.

On the plus side, so far I like my new teachers and I am very excited for my writing class tomorrow. I love my teacher in that class, and it's been weird not getting to hear his awesome stories. I've missed it.

Oh, and my research professor from last semester said he gave out more A's than he ever had before. I have a sneaking suspicion I earned one of those. Which is actually kind of sad, because it doesn't count toward my average. I have been told that often firms will ONLY ask how you did in Research, so maybe the A will prove valuable. Can you imagine, an "A" in law school? One can dream, I guess.

Back to real life. It seems odd that we adapt so quickly to vacation. At least now I have more things to obsess over besides grades, like reading for class, getting enough sleep, etc.

Oh, on an unrelated note, I've been a vegetarian for 8 days and it's going great!!

Winter Break, I Guess

I'm supposed to be on a break, but I'm finding it impossible. Sitting home with Abby reminds me so much of what it was like before law school I find myself falling into the same old habits. Like not showering or wearing pants. Bad!

I know I will be miserable if I spend the rest of the break (school starts on January 10) sitting around not wearing pants. The first morning I have to wake up and put on pants I will hate life. So, I'm resolved to keep busy. Today The Mad Scientist took work off to spend the day at home with us. He's been working really hard lately, largely because his job is probably going to end on the 15th and he doesn't want to leave anything unfinished. Why he feels he owes them any favors is beyond me. On the plus side, his boss has set him up with an interview in the same department at the university, so we may not be losing his pension, our benefits, my tuition discount, etc. Cross your fingers for us!

Today I felt inspired to move furniture. So that's what we did. We got the Playstation Move for Christmas (from Santa) and our ceiling fan was causing major problems. And injuries. My poor law school-addled brain kept thinking about who we could sue. Law school has officially ruined the show for me. For those of you who don't know, that's a metaphor for the phenomenon you experience when you watch Law and Order after starting law school. Show is ruined, see? We moved everything around and I like it much, much better. We converted Abby's crib to a toddler bed. She is currently sleeping soundly in it, so I think we made the right decision. How we'll feel tomorrow morning when she's up and out of it and playing at 5 am I guess we'll have to wait and see. So far she basically feels like the bed is an indoor trampoline. Again I think of products liability. Grr. We reorganized all her toys and got the house cleaned up. Our room is still a total mess, filled with gifts we've received but haven't put away yet. I love getting (and giving) but it's hard to find homes for all the swag.

I'm sad that Christmas is over, because now I'm (nearly, after New Years) back to normal. This break has gone really fast because we have had so much stuff to do, but I know it's going to slow down. I miss school so much. I'm excited for this semester, because I get to take Criminal Law. That should be swell. Also, I get to begin volunteering for the pro bono initiative. I'm leaning toward the immigration clinic or the Street Law Clinic. I guess it will depend on the schedules.

Still no grades yet. We won't find out until January 15. I'm terrified and still in shock and nearly to the point of not caring. I know there isn't anything I can do at this point. I'm hoping the heavy doses of NyQuil didn't screw my Contracts exam up. Time will tell. I hope everyone had a great holiday!

Tortfeasible

Monday will be my Torts exam. I was feeling very comfortable with it until I took the practice test. My professor is old-school, so he doesn't put up old exams for students to see, doesn't allow you to record his lectures, and it's completely closed book. Oh, and mostly true/false and multiple choice. Still, I was okay with it. I get torts, it just makes sense to me. Or so I thought.

A couple years ago a number of students got together after the exam and wrote down as many questions as they could remember. They typed them all up, provided answers, and made a 4 hour exam out of them. Some are duplicated, some are from supplements, and some are the real deal. I started taking the exam, trying to simulate real exam conditions. Until I noticed that the numbering on the exam appeared to be wrong. Things weren't lining up right. I was about 3/4 of the way through it and decided to stop and grade what I could. It took 2 hours, because I had to redo all the numbering. Finally, I realized it wasn't the document, it was frakking Open Office. It was all screwed up for some reason.

I got it all graded, and I'd scored a 67%. Apparently that's a decent score for one of his exams, so I guess I'm happy?? Anyway, now I'm going through all the questions one by one and making sure I understand the answer. I've heard the best way to study for his exams is just re-read the entire casebook. But he'll spend half an hour in class focusing on the "etc." in one line of the Thorns case. No way that sort of thing will jump out at me if I just read the book again. I figure the test is the best way to study but I'm just guessing.

Sounds like I'll be doing a lot of that.