Saturday, March 27, 2010

Whack Dreams

So as I have nothing law-schooly to discuss until August, I thought I would use the time to document my completely fucked up dreams. Anyone who's ever lived with me has heard the (often boredom inciting) phrase "I had the weirdest dream last night." So now you can all suffer too.

Last night I dreamed that I somehow got cast on Grey's Anatomy. I was new to the Hollywood scene, and for some reason Katherine Heigl decided to be nice to me and invite me along on a real estate trip. It was freshly announced that she would be leaving the show so she was house hunting. She agreed to let me (and the other female stars of the show) tag along to check out this "great" place she heard about. She flew us in her private plane, because in my brain Katherine Heigl is not only beautiful and talented, but fabulously rich and a pilot to boot. We had a majorly huge scare and almost crashed into a mountain (face down) when she managed to straighten us out at the very last second. It was very Hollywood.

We land at the private air strip and take a ridiculously long drive UP UP UP the mountain into The Hills to this Willy Wonka-esque house. The realtor met us at the gate. I took one look and could tell this place was a total dump. "How much is the listing price?" I asked. "12" says the realtor. "Thousand?" I thought in my head, but I knew she meant million. Much like most houses in Hollywood and thereabouts, it's all about the land, not so much how great the house itself is. This place was a complete monstrosity. Peeling paint, rotting drywall. But, it was 12 floors. Huge. Teeny tiny rooms, but hundreds of them. Apparently that passes for "amazing."

Someone was having a party, and people were smoking meth and doing all sorts of other horrible things. I got separated from the group and was told to just enjoy myself, but I just kept thinking houses in Home State are SO much nicer. Plus I was creeped out by all the drugged out freaks. If this is Hollywood, I'm not so sure I belong. At one point I walked in on Katherine Heigl breastfeeding her baby. Which is odd, because, didn't she adopt? I know adoptive parents can do that and all, but I didn't exactly see that happening with her. Plus, I don't recall a baby screaming as we were about to plummet to our deaths in the plane. So yeah, that was pretty much it.

At one point I also bumped into a random male super-celebrity, who hit on me. That was pretty awesome except I can't remember who it was. Definitely someone I like though, I remember that much.

Now for the fun part where I try and assess where some of these things come from.

1. I read about Heigl leaving the show and lamented that her character didn't just die of cancer when she had the chance.

2. I watched Addicted and saw a chick smoke meth, something I've never seen in real life.

3. I watched Sober House which takes place in a nice big house in the Hollywood Hills. It's one of the good ones.

So there you are, and this was one of the TAME ONES.

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