Lately I have been struggling with what to do about our little family. We would love to have another baby, but we've been trying for about a year and a half (with intermittent Clomid) with no success. It looks like we had an early loss this month, so at least we know it's possible but with the way the calendar is looking we are running out of time. If I am due during the bar it will bring impossible stress, so we want to avoid being due in July at all costs. Even June is iffy, given how much studying I will need to do (and sitting in a classroom during Barbri). Having Mommy Brain and a compressed bladder does not sound like a good plan for bar prep.
So what to do? We've decided to try the Clomid for a few more months and then stop, and then to be honest I just don't see us having more after the bar. I want to get in shape and start focusing on my career and having a baby (and trying to conceive) just takes so much out of me. At some point I would love for me and Brian to just focus on us as a couple again, and we all know that the more kids you have the longer it takes to get to Empty Nest. Not to mention I am not a spring chicken and I hate the idea of the risks going up so much due to my age, I'd rather just stick with our one amazing kid than risk anything going wrong.
Things at work are great. I've been practicing for a month or so now in a couple different jurisdictions, and I've really enjoyed it. Public defense is certainly different than private, I really had no idea how much so. I will get to do a couple trials in August, so I have that to look forward to. I'm also working on a big case out of state (working from home) which is super exciting (and I'm getting PAID!) and which keeps me busy but not too much so. Frankly, a lot of the work can be done while hanging out on my couch and I think that is swell. It's not stressful at all and I know that when I'm done I will have a nice check to apply to my debt or pay for our vacation next summer after graduation. Pretty soon I will finish up the hours for my clinic, which means I will be done at the public defender office. That will free up some time to enjoy my summer a bit more. Maybe we will head south and visit Brian's sister and do a bit of swimming, that would be super fun.
I'm sort of rambling here, but I've been out of the habit of blogging for so long now that I figure anything helps me get back into the swing of things. Hope everyone's summer is going well!