"It's Chair City, and I'm the Guy Who's...

Sitting in a chair!"

Bonus points if you get the Friends reference.

My parents delivered to me, by sheer magic, the chair below. It has a matching ottoman. When I said I wanted an oversize chair and ottoman for the reading nook in my office (AKA Law School Dungeon) theirs were the model I was using in my head. I've always loved the set. Not so much for the southwestern fabric, but for the shape and the comfy-scale ranking.



It has been serving as a bed for their super-spoiled 90lb Boxer "Junior" and subsequently displays the abuse to go with it. It bears tears in the fabric, worn areas, and about fifty million dog hairs. My vacuum, which could suck the hair right off my skin, doesn't even TOUCH the hairs embedded in the fabric.

The condition (and hairiness) led me to seek out options for recovering it. Upholstering would be expensive, and I was worried a slip cover may end up looking like this:



My apologies to the woman who blogged that particular slipcover to market her custom slipcover business. But honestly! The chair she had before looked perfectly fine before she did this to it.

We don't wear huge floral RUFFLES in real life unless some bridezilla forces us, I don't want it in my house ON DISPLAY.

I kept searching and found these amazing looking Sure Fit brand slipcovers. They are super stretchy and have elastic around the bottom, so they conform to the shape of your chair. I was really nervous it wouldn't fit, or it would not look as good as it does in the pictures. For real, this picture doesn't look half as good as it does in person (since it's a suede-like fabric the camera shows all the little hand prints etc.) The color is actually wine (and matches the wine/black stripe in the original fabric, so I don't have to recover the ottoman until later.) These slipcovers are really expensive, about 90 for a chair cover and 50 for an ottoman cover. I lucked out and found a deal on eBay for 22 bucks. The guy happened to be local and I met with him and saw some of his other inventory. EXCELLENT DEALS! Anyway, here it is!



One step closer to awesome officeness! I just need to find myself a wooden office-chair that isn't horribly uncomfortable.

If you are looking for great deals, have a look at the guy's eBay store:

Global Sales

Friday Fundamental

Every Friday I will be posting about something I am ordinarily too afraid to mention but frequently encounter. Friday Fundamental will consist of a funny or annoying grammar or spelling error I have come across during the previous week. I do not correct people when they make these mistakes, because it is rude, but sometimes I get really really pissed off. Other times I crack up completely. I need a place where I can be a snob and not upset the offending (and therefore offended) parties. Also, I think it will be fun.

I should mention, I will (generally) not be targeting people like myself, who make stupid and silly errors out of distraction or being too hurried. I make mistakes like this all the time, and I am not a hypocrite. Typos are also (except in cases of extreme humor) exempt. No, I will be looking for multiple and chronic offenders. I will also be seeking out professional gaffes, because you KNOW 20 people had to pass on it and yet NO ONE noticed an error. This may include a marketing scheme or ad that makes absolutely no sense.

Your submissions are welcome! Feel free to post a link in the comments.

This week: Reading things out loud

Sometimes we our so far into our head we don't take the time to read things out loud. This is important when dealing with words that are spelled close to similar words, but with different form or meaning.

I came across the following example in the local paper, and it gave me a good chuckle. I've altered the image slightly so the company won't sue, but I think you'll appreciate the sentiment.



Misuse of ellipses aside, if you just read this outloud even in the foggiest state you should be able to get the mistake. The ad was smack in the middle of a story I was reading and kept going down with me as I scrolled, so it was getting on my nerves. The annoyance forced me to read it (THE HORROR!) and that's when I got a good chuckle.

I am such a nerd.

"She's a maniac, maniac..."

I normally post babyriffic tidbits over at One Crazy Ride but this is too cute to not share. Sorry it's so dark. I brightened it in Quicktime but it doesn't seem to save it.



Why yes, that is a Soothie in her mouth. And one in her hand. As the video goes on she proceeds to keep swapping between the two, the little weirdo.

Hurry Hurry School Starts Soon!

I started a little project back in October. I hacked up all of Abigail's clothes from her first year. I just couldn't bring myself to donate/sell/toss them, when some of those outfits she wore when she was first born or were particular favorites. So, I decided to make a quilt. After cutting the clothes up and making uniform shapes, I made a quilt design. I did it in Excel and it looked like this:



And then I never did anything with it. I bought a sewing machine to use but with the different types of fabric (some stretchy, some not, some cut against the bias, some the opposite) the machine just wasn't cutting it. So I decided to do it by hand. I needed to be able to lay the whole thing out, because of the design I wouldn't really know where to stop colorwise, but had no place to do it where a particular 1 year old would not destroy it. I decided I absolutely have to get this done before school starts, and determined as soon as we moved into our new place I would get to work.

We moved in on Monday, unpacked on Tuesday, and I have now done 4 out of 18 rows. I had never actually laid out the pieces until just this week. It looks even more incredible than it did in my head. I am SO excited. This will be a cherished heirloom that I will keep forever. People keep assuming I will give it to Abigail, but c'mon, this is way too special to hand off to a rugrat or stick in a box until she's 18. I want to snuggle it, just like I snuggled my little baby when she was wearing these things. Bonus point of using old clothes, they are pre-snuggled. AND they've been washed a million times so they are easy to sew and there is no worry about shrinking or having to be ironed.

Here it is!



I may make a collage with pictures of her wearing the outfits centered around a photo of the quilt.

Bar Review

Tonight is the first summer Bar Review. For you non-legal types, this has nothing to do with The Bar, it's about going to a bar and "reviewing" it. Tonight they have bar trivia and karaoke and the bar chosen is one of my favorites in SLC; Piper Down. Unfortunately I already have plans so I can't make it. BUMMER! Karaoke would be a great way to impress my classmates and I LOVE to sing. It will be nice to have a weekly non-law activity to look forward to. They seem to have a lot of things going on, including Law Prom (actually called something else but that's what people call it.) It will be fun to get all dressed up. I do so love my man in a tux.

What fun things did your law school do to keep you from slitting your wrists?

Everything Old is New Again

As promised, here are pics of the desk I restored. It belonged to my brother-in-law Mark who passed away in October. He had considered going to law school himself, so I think it a fitting tribute that I should use it while I go to law school. It previously had horrendously tacky (and fairly tarnished) brass flourishy handles on it. I replaced them with these black iron ones from Lowes. As I had to drill some new holes to get them to fit, they're not entirely straight. (I didn't want to have to drill 2 new holes rather than 1, because the old holes can show. I'll fix those later.)

Here it is, all cleaned up and oiled!

Weird Dream #2

As I have nothing law related to talk about, here is my crazy dream from last night (coming to a theater near you.)

I am living in an old house set up like a dorm. I have a roommate who is a good friend of mine. My mom throws a party for my birthday, with tons of fancy hors d'ouvres. I end up trying to do it with my boyfriend in her bed, so she gets mad and moves out. Kenneth from 30 Rock is there, playing a nerdy page-like college kid who lives in our building. The next morning I wake up outside, no idea how I got there, and am disappointed to find all the hors d'ouvres are gone and I didn't get any. (My mom isn't a gourmet, so I was interested in trying them.)I'm sad Roommate is gone, but get distracted by crazy redneck guy trying to shoot me with a sniper rifle from outside the window.

Cut to me driving with some guy in a Jeep to a parking lot, where I see a helicopter parked. Just as we get out of the Jeep, the guy with me gets shot. So I run and jump in the helicopter, start it up, and begin learning how to fly it. Tricky mountain-dodging, horizon-finding, freeway driver-freaking outing, adventure.

I land the helicopter back at the house, where sweet Kenneth guy comes up to me and points a gun at me. I ask him to explain, and he says I make a lousy spy. He musses up his hair and takes off his page jacket, and LOOK! It's the redneck guy! It was him all the time!

Shocking, I know. Seriously, this is what my dreams are like most of the time, it's really bad when I'm pregnant. If I'd had this dream while pregnant, I would have been out of bed dodging bullets and trying to fly a helicopter while my horrified husband watched.

Don't You EVER Touch My Child

In local news today a parent accompanying his child's class on a field trip is being charged with various things for assault on some of the children. Reading the comments in my lovely little state often makes me sick, and this is no exception. One of the commenters actually justified the man hitting one child, boxing another child's ear, and grabbing another so hard a mark was left. He cites the following Home State law as evidence that this man was within his legal rights.

53A-11-802. Prohibition of corporal punishment -- Use of reasonable and necessary physical restraint or force.
(1) A school employee may not inflict or cause the infliction of corporal punishment upon a child who is receiving services from the school, unless written permission has been given by the student's parent or guardian to do so.
(2) This section does not prohibit the use of reasonable and necessary physical restraint or force in self defense or otherwise appropriate to the circumstances to:
(a) obtain possession of a weapon or other dangerous object in the possession or under the control of a child;
(b) protect the child or another person from physical injury;
(c) remove from a situation a child who is violent or disruptive; or
(d) protect property from being damaged.
(3) (a) Any rule, ordinance, policy, practice, or directive which purports to direct or permit the commission of an act prohibited by this part is void and unenforceable.
(b) An employee may not be subjected to any sanction for failure or refusal to commit an act prohibited under this part.
(4) A parochial or private school may exempt itself from the provisions of this section by adopting a policy to that effect and notifying the parents or guardians of children in the school of the exemption.

As the parent was not an employee of the school (which is a public school) section 1 does not apply.

This man was not defending himself or another child. The kids were being disruptive and rowdy on the bus, which can be unsafe. However, his actions do not (in my opinion) constitute reasonable and necessary restraint or force. Section 2 does not seem to apply.

3 and 4 are moot.

So in essence, these people are saying kids are jerks and they deserve to get smacked around.

You have GOT to be kidding me.